Are you wondering if online dating is for you as a Christian woman or man? Have you almost given up hope of finding that perfect partner for your life?

As a Christian, it is important to remember that God has a plan and a purpose for our lives (Jeremiah). He wants far more for us than we want for ourselves.

The Bible says “Love your neighbour as yourself” – which clearly means that we have to love and care for ourselves first, before we can truly love anyone else.

Traditionally, Christians, and often women, have had a priority list that looks something like this:-

1. God 2. Husband/wife 3. Kids 4. Family/parents 5. Work 6. Church 7. Myself & my own needs

Don’t be fooled – this may feel like the “Christian” thing to do – but this is not God’s model for success.

Yes, we are called to serve, but not at the cost of sacrificing ourselves utterly. Jesus met his own needs for food, shelter, quiet times away with God – he didn’t try to go all out without making time for the important things which enabled him to carry on.;

A Christian priority list should read more like this:-

1. God 2. Myself 3. Husband/wife 4. Kids 5. Family & friends 6. you get the idea!

Don’t let any man or woman define you – instead, know who you are in Christ.

If you are looking for meaning & purpose, you will not find it in any one person, except in Jesus alone.

These priorities will help you when you find your marriage partner. So often in marriage, mistaken priorities can lead to the destruction of a marriage. Your ministry and your job should come after your husband or wife. Don’t put your ministry or career before your partner – they don’t depend on you anyway – they depend on God. Your partner and children need you today, your ministry or career will wait tomorrow. (Remember, no-one is every known to have said on their deathbed that they wished they’d spent more time at the office!)

Remember, “be kind to yourself” . Be involved in activities outside of your work and relationship, keep your friendships, have interest, care for other people.

If you can be confident that you are loveable, then you will have the confidence to be yourself in a relationship and still expect to be loved. This is the first step to starting a successful and lasting relationship.

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